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What's wrong with being a "people pleaser?" Plenty!

"A fascinating book... If you struggle with where, when, and how to draw the line between your own desires and the demands of others, buy this book!"­­Kay Redfield Jamison, bestselling author of An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast

People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.

Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.

Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.

As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.

• Sales Rank: #27965 in Books
• Published on: 2002-02-13
• Released on: 2002-02-13
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.00" h x .90" w x 6.10" l, 1.00 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 304 pages

From the Back Cover

What's wrong with being a "people pleaser?" Plenty!

"A fascinating book... If you struggle with where, when, and how to draw the line between your own desires and the demands of others, buy this book!"­­Kay Redfield Jamison, bestselling author of An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast

People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.

Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.

Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.

As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.

About the Author
Harriet B. Braiker Ph.D. was a bestselling author and practiced clinical psychologist and management consultant in Los Angeles. She was the author of several, highly successful popular psychology books.

Most helpful customer reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Fantastic book
By SLSBIN
I learned so much from this book. It was uncanny how many times I found myself reading about exact situations and outcomes I have experienced as a people pleaser. I didn't realize that I was creating the negative outcomes I was experiencing through my own expectations and inability to say no. I wanted to make everyone happy and the opposite happened instead. I really recommend this book if you think you are a people pleaser or constantly find yourself going "above and beyond" for others but feel that they never come through for you.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Conditioned thinking and feeling does not have to stay like that forever
By Susi H.
Great help for people who feel dependent on the approval
of others in every aspect of life! Supportive and essential book.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Pat
Excellent and I feel like it was written with my name in it. Taught me a lot.

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Now available in a new edition, this book explores Hieronymus Bosch’s masterpiece Garden of Earthly Delights. Few paintings inspire the kind of intense study and speculation as Garden of Earthly Delights, the world-famous triptych by Netherlandish master Hieronymus Bosch. The painting has been interpreted as a heretical masterpiece, an opulent illustration of the Creation, and a premonition of the end of the world. In this book, renowned art historian Hans Belting offers a radical reinterpretation of the work, which he sees not as apocalyptic but utopian, portraying how the world would exist had the Fall not happened. Taking readers through each panel, Belting discusses various schools of thought and explores Bosch’s life and times. This fascinating study is an important contribution to the literature and theory surrounding one of the world’s most enigmatic artists.

• Sales Rank: #290391 in Books
• Published on: 2016-05-15
• Released on: 2016-05-15
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.40" h x .50" w x 7.60" l, .0 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 128 pages

About the Author
Hans Belting has been Professor of Art History at the universities of Heidelberg and Munich and has taught at Harvard, Columbia, Northwestern, and the Ecole des Hautes Etudes in Paris. He is a cofounder of the Karlsruhe University for Arts and Design (Hochschule fur Gestaltung).

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• Sales Rank: #386756 in Books
• Brand: Walking Stick Press
• Published on: 2013-03-18
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.25" h x .50" w x 7.50" l, 1.00 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 160 pages

Features

• Crystals to Empower You: Use Crystals and the Law of Attraction to Manifest Abundance, Wellbeing and Happiness

About the Author

Judy Hall has been teaching and writing about crystals for more than 40 years. She is a leading crystal and spiritual writer with sales of more than one million books worldwide. Her books include The Crystal Bible and The Crystal Bible 2.

Most helpful customer reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
A good read for all who work with common crystals...
By L. Kozak
I enjoyed reading this book. If you work with crystals, then you will have a good reference on how to use the crystals to manifest.
I didn't know exactly what to expect from this book, but so far it has come in handy for me. Only thing I can say negative is that I felt there wasn't enough crystals mentioned. So if you have the common crystals as in this book, then you should like this read.

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Love ❤️ this book!
By Rocker Chick
There are a lot of books on crystals, and a lot of books on manifestation, but not many that include both topics...This is one of the best illustrated and written books on crystals I have come across. Nice size. Perfect gift for someone who loves crystals.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Wonderful Development in the Library of Crystal Healing
By Nicholas Pearson
Rather than merely offering another dictionary of crystals and their properties, Judy's book offers manifestation rituals centered around personal growth, healing, and spiritual development. In lieu of the tried-and-true list or directory of crystals, this book unfolds from ritual or application to the next, sometimes introducing previously unheard of stones in the process. The photography is enchanting, and the entire feel of the book is beautiful.It's a great gift idea for anyone interested in crystals, as it covers basics, like health and abundance, as well as more advanced themes such as resolving karma.

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He has to stay away from her.

Thirty-year-old entrepreneur Rick Donnelly is under contract to remain unattached until his fifteen-year-old half-sister turns twenty-one. If he breaks the rules, not only will he have to hand over the management of his half-sister’s substantial inheritance to his reckless stepmother, but he’ll also have to transfer twenty percent ownership of his company to the untrustworthy woman. When the tempting Lexie Mead decides to knock down his heart’s defenses, he finds himself in danger of breaking the contract’s strict conditions—something he simply cannot afford to do.

She intends to win his heart.

Twenty-six-year-old Lexie Mead has long had feelings for the hunky Rick Donnelly. Tired of being treated as just another one of his friends, she sets out to win his heart from prettier and more aggressive women admirers. But Rick has complications to deal with… and enemies who will do anything to see him fail. She doesn’t want him to lose the things he’s worked hard to keep. But how can they have a future together when she is forced to walk away and Rick can’t ask her to stay?

The Unyielding Bachelor can be enjoyed as a stand-alone novel or as Book 2 of the Captured by Love series. The author recommends reading the books in order to fully enjoy the series.
Book 1: The Unwilling Executive (Lucas Renner and Jade Tully)
Book 2: The Unyielding Bachelor (Rick Donnelly and Lexie Mead)
Book 3: The Undercover Playboy (Carter Garrett and Cassie Stephens)
Book 4: The Unintended Fiance (Bradley Mead and Erin Baker)
Other books in the series coming soon!

These books are for adults only. They contain hot sex scenes.

• Sales Rank: #92098 in eBooks
• Published on: 2015-05-19
• Released on: 2015-05-19
• Format: Kindle eBook

Most helpful customer reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Contract To True Love
By M. Smith
Oh god. I got all weepy and sniffly reading this story. Then I got pissed and swore and had to kick my kids out of my room so they don't go around repeating what I said. I'm totally all for stories that tug at my heart and make me feel for the characters, but, damn it, I should be able to read more than a dozen or pages without being on one end or the other of the emotional spectrum, right?

But that's what makes Ms. Charles' stories some of my favorites. They're engaging, humorous, and realistic. Those three elements coupled with incredible characters is what pulls me into her stories and keeps me there.

Rick and Lexie deserved to be together but couldn't for a reason initially unknown to Lexie. Once the truth was told, their relationship was on the Bullet Train to happily ever after. Well, not really. Their relationship had to be kept under wraps, and they snuck around to steal moments together to ensure that no one they were seeing one another. Of course, everything that's in darkness will eventually be brought to light. While they did damage control to keep their secret safe, Rick came across new information that devastated him and almost ruined what he and Lexie had.

I don't think "suspense" or "mystery" when I think of Ms. Charles' books. She is clearly a romance author who writes in the contemporary genre, and her stories are always about couples finding their way into the arms of their beloved. The suspense and bit of mystery she added to this story was a really nice surprise. It was one of those "Just when you thought it couldn't get any better!" moments.

Ms. Charles continues to surprise me with the stories she tells and how she tells them. Everyone deserves a happy ending. Lucas and Jade got theirs first, Rick and Lexie second. Carter's next and I wonder what adventure he'll go on to get his.

(Received from author for an honest review)

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
I hate when the world interrupts and I can't sit and ...
By C - Mama Likes To Read Book Blog
This was another one of Miranda's books that I could not put down. I hate when the world interrupts and I can't sit and read. This is my second book by Miranda Charles and I am even more impressed than "The Unwilling Executive", her first book in the Captured By Love series. This book can be read alone without reading "The Unwilling Executive" but it would help to understand the characters.

Lexie Mead has had a crush on Rick Donnelly for a LONG time. She can't figure out why Rick never acts on her flirting. SHe has tried every trick in the book and he never makes a move. So she decided to give up. What she doesn't know is why he can't make a move. It's not because he doesn't want to, he can't. for good reason too.

Rick is in charge of his step-sister's inheritance. His step-mother almost lost it in her reckless spending spree. Thankfully Rick too it over and has made sure his sister will have something left when she comes of age. This is not an easy task though. It comes with strings attached that affects Rick's happiness.

The story continues with Rick's struggle to keep his agreements for his sister's sake and find some sort of relief for his own sexual desires. He truly struggles with his feelings for a woman and doing the right thing.

I loved this story mostly for the characters that I hated, loved, then hated and then loved again. The characters were so well written. The story had twists and turns that kept me on the edge of my seat, thinking I had the ending of the story all figured out. Wrong. I was so wrong. I loved how it ended though. Surprised doesn't even describe it. I love Miranda's imagination and change in the story.

Like I said, I loved "The Unwilling Executive" and loved this one just as much, maybe more. I really like reading about Lucas and Jade again and having them apart of this story. So nice when the characters come back to visit or be a part of the next story.

Another well done book by Miranda P. Charles. Loved it! I am ready for "The Undercover Playboy" and the surprises it brings too.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Loved It!
By Rebecca J. Claxon
I was given this book for an honest review. I loved the story. This is the second book in the Captured by Love series and is Rick and Lexie's story. Rick is the cousin of the Carmichael brothers we met in the Time for Love series. He has been a player in the past as all his friends seem to be. He has known Lexie for over a year. Lexie is best friends with Jade who is married to Lucas. Lucas is part owner of the company Lexie and Jade work for. Rick is good friends with Lucas so they all go to the same functions.

Rick has a step sister, Shelly, who he loves very much. Rick and Shelly's farther is dead and Rick is in charge of Lexie's trust fund. Rick and Lexie's mother, Betty, had a big blow out as Betty used to be in charge of the trust fund. Rick found out Betty was taking large amounts of money from Lexie's trust fund, so he had a contract with Betty to take over the trust fund. Unfortunately in the contract he could not marry until Lexie turned 21 which was in six years. Lexie has been flirting with Rick for a year now trying to get his attention. She would like to take it further than just friends. As far as Lexie is concerned, Rick only sees her as a friend. Little does Lexie know that Rick is having a hard time keeping his hands off her. He knows he keeps hurting her by not responding to her advances. He finally tells her why he can't be with her. They then start to see each other secretly. There are other things going on that interfere with Rick and Lexie seeing much of each other.

I loved how different this book was since that Rick didn't feel he could have a future with Lexie because of the contract. There was also mystery and police work involved in this book which I love. I enjoyed seeing how the characters developed and changed through the book. I can't wait until the next book comes out!

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• Sales Rank: #9204542 in Books
• Published on: 1990
• Binding: Hardcover

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• Published on: 1982
• Binding: Paperback

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WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY HOWARD MARKS

Once upon a time, opium (the main ingredient of heroin) was easily available over the chemist's counter. The secret of happiness, about which philosophers have disputed for so many ages, could be bought for a penny, and carried in the waistcoat pocket: portable ecstasies could be corked up in a pint bottle. Paradise? So thought Thomas de Quincey, but he soon discovered that 'nobody will laugh long who deals much with opium'.

• Sales Rank: #1588017 in eBooks
• Published on: 2013-01-03
• Released on: 2013-01-03
• Format: Kindle eBook

Review
"Among the best essayists of the romantic era... De Quincey may be viewed as a proto-Burroughs, as well as a British cousin to Edgar Allan Poe and Charles Baudelaire, he might with a stretch even be seen as an ancestor of the J.G. Ballard...turn immediately to this excellent, detailed and often harrowing biography" Washington Post "Thomas de Quincey was the original cosmonaut of inner space, his Confessions of an English Opium Eater predating the wave of drug buddy literature from William Burroughs to Irvine Welsh by half a century or more" Glasgow Herald "A stimulating cocktail: exotic dream-sequences conjured up in baroque prosepoetry, camp Gothic effects worthy of Hammer Horror, classical quotations, London street-slang and sprawling footnotes on German philosophy. De Quincey served up this heady concoction of high-culture and low-life in all of his finest writings... At his best, however, he is one of the finest English prose stylists for sheer variety and opiumtinted vividness" Mail on Sunday "The first - and still is the finest - literary dope fiend" Guardian "It is one of the classics of 19th-century life writing and its influence is still felt" Observer

From the Publisher
4 1-hour cassettes

About the Author
Thomas De Quincey (1785-1859) studied at Oxford and failed to take his degree but discovered opium. He later met Coleridge, Southey, and the Wordsworths and worked as a journalist in Edinburgh.

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23 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
The Horrors of Addiction
By Jeffrey Leach
Thomas De Quincey wrote this account of his life and his struggle with drug addiction to both educate on the evils of opium and also to share the dream trances that he experienced while in the throes of addiction. This version by Penguin presents De Quincey's original version from 1821 and then his revision notes from 1856. There is also a short section of comments that De Quincey made concerning his Confessions from 1821-1855. The introduction by Alethea Hayter is one of the best I've seen in a Penguin book, and it really helps in understanding Thomas De Quincey and his writing style.
The Confessions, in a nutshell, begin by recounting De Quincey's early life and the events that led him to begin taking opium. The rest of the tale deals with his problems with opium and his dreams that came from taking the drug. The original version isn't that long of a read, but his revision notes add considerable length, and for the most part weren't as interesting as the 1821 original.
De Quincey's prose is absolutely amazing. He is one of the most gifted writers I've had the pleasure to read (up to this date). Many times I felt as though I was lifted up by his words and carried directly into his world. I've yet to have as profound an experience with any other author. De Quincey can also be difficult. His grasp of the English language will leave many modern readers scratching their heads. Footnotes and notes by the editor help, but a dictionary will find heavy use during the reading of this book. So those with short attention spans, be forewarned. You won't survive this book. Also, De Quincey received a classical education. He makes heavy use of Greek names, places and other classical references. He even uses Greek words in the text (although notes provide translations). I can read Greek and have studied classical history, so I got most of his references and in jokes. This is one of the things that impressed me about De Quincey. He mentioned early on that he could speak classical Greek fluently. Anyone who has studied Greek realizes how difficult this is to do. Even Romans had trouble speaking Greek fluently, so much so that it is mentioned in various historical works when an emperor could do so. The fact that De Quincey can do this is a sign of his deep intellectual abilities. I can only imagine how prolific he might have been if he had not been saddled with an opiate addiction.
An amazing book and one I highly recommend to those who are prepared to read and understand it. For those looking for a justification for drug use, look elsewhere!

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Not the best edition
By Siobhan
De Quincey's writings on opium addiction are both fascinating and intensely frustrating. As other reviewers have noted, he has an amazing ability to capture the surreality of his experiences on the drug. However, the reader should be aware that De Quincey spends the majority of his space on other subjects: his childhood, his numerous neuroses, obscure points about Greek literature, etc occupy 3/4 of the narrative, while the bits about opium are interspersed throughout but concentrated heavily toward the end. If you don't enjoy his writing, this makes for a long slog through uninteresting content.

For me, at least, his writing style is aggravating in the extreme. De Quincey is self-indulgent and impressed by his own intellect, which he tries to demonstrate to the reader at every opportunity. His prose is florid even by Victorian standards. The over-intellectualism is useful, though, in keeping his opium narratives analytically clear so that readers who've never tried it can immerse themselves in the experience. I've never found anything quite like this book in tone, and for this reason would recommend it to anyone curious about opium or the psychology of drug addiction.

Regardless of your interests in the book, I strongly recommend purchasing a different edition than the Dover Thrift. De Quincey wrote a second, later essay on his opium experience called Suspiria de Profundis that is included in many other copies of Confessions (but not this one). The latter work is an important supplement and addendum to the material contained in the first essay, focusing much more heavily on his opium dreams (and is, in my opinion, actually superior in psychological insight and interest value). You will not get the full picture of De Quincey's struggles without reading it.

27 of 34 people found the following review helpful.
For Verbiage Junkies Only
By Bruce Kendall
Thomas De Quincey was a contemporary of Wordsworth and more importantly in terms of comparison, Coleridge. He writes that Coleridge and he met several times and in one instance they perused some Parnesi prints together. Whether on not they were both high at the time, De Quincey doesn't reveal. However, given the tenor of the tangent upon which De Quincey expounds, it is certain that at least he was using, and given Coleridge's history, he probably was a well. Why do I cite this incident? Because it is one of the few points in the narrative that is memorable. As someone interested in literary figures, the image of two 19th century literary hop-heads grooving-out whilst staring at Parnesi prints (you should look up Parnesi on the web - a definite precursor to M.C. Escher)is just plain marvelous.
Unfortunately, that, and a few paragraphs depicting some truly macabre nightmares are the only noteworthy incidents in this book. Too often, De Quicey's labarynthine riffs doen't really lead anywhere. His writing style in some ways can be compared to another of his more illustrious contemporaries, Thomas Carlyle's. Both go in for elongated Latinate constructions, with modifier upon modifier and dependent and independent clauses ad infinitum. Carlyle, however, can pull it off. His great wit and energy of mind holds the center of the thought together, even as the rest of his sentence veers off into Baroque space. De Quincey is not an adept enough magician to perform this trick.

De Quincey's subject is himself. His mode of writing in this instance is primarily that of a diarist. This leads to comparisons with some other English diarists of note. Two that come immediately to mind are Defoe (A Journal of the Plague Year) and Pepys (the most famous of all). De Quincey doesn't hold up well in comparision. Defoe's journal is interesting because his subject matter is compelling, he's a great journalist (conveying to our mind's eye the events he depicts), and he gets to the point. Pepys is wonderful because he provides us a full panorama of life in London in the latter half of the 17th century. De Quincey is so absorbed in his solipsistic self-examination, that we as readers aren't even allowed to come up for air, much less see anything around us. That would even be permissable if the narrator were like Proust's Swann, who is at least likeable and self-effacing. Not so De Quincey. He interupts his own narrative on countless occasions to tell us what a splendid scholar he is and (to borrow a phrase from Ophelia) "what a great mind is here o'erthrown." He peppers the text with words like "heautontimoroumenos" to indicate that he is learned in Greek. Throughout the narrative, he is in way to big a hurry to impress these points upon the reader, instead of allowing the reader to judge for him/herself.
If you want to know what it's like to be a junkie, read Burroughs. If you want to read some painfully constructed English prose, give this one a go.
BK

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