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Episode Number One
The Bloody Rain of The Winged Crusader
“Toot! Toot!” chirped The Kid.
“Toot? Toot?” The Ace replied.
“Toot! Toot!” The Kid retorted. “Toot! Toot!
“All right,” The Ace conceded. “Toot. Toot.”
“Toot! Toot!” The Kid chirped merrily, bouncing up and down in his seat. “Toot! Toot!
The Ace reached into the breast pocket of his old Nam flight jacket, withdrew a tiny glass vial of crystalline white powder.
“You realize, of course,” said The Ace, slowly unscrewing the vial's black plastic cap, “the only reason I'm giving you this is because it means I get some, too.”
“Toot! Toot!” chirped The Kid.
The Ace dug some white powder out of the vial with the cokespoon attachment on his Swiss Army knife, leaned over, held it directly below The Kid’s left nostril.
“Bombs away.”
The Kid inhaled sharply through his nose. The white powder disappeared.
“Toot! Toot!” chirped The Kid.
“Toot-toot to you, too,” The Ace toasted, doing up a spoonful himself.”
“Toot! Toot!” The Kid exclaimed. “Toot! Toot!
“All right already,” said The Ace, holding another heaping cokespoon beneath The Kid’s right nostril: “Fire two.”
The Kid inhaled sharply through his nose again. The cocaine disappeared.
“Toot! Toot!” The Kid chirped merrily.
“You sound like some kinda bird,” said The Ace, doing up another spoonful, recapping the vial.
“A Coke-A-Toot.”
“Ah, yesss...” went The Ace like W.C. Fields, pretending he was tapping an ash off the glass vial. "Whilst exploring through the Estonian Mountains... My companions and I discovered a rookery of the rare, tropical Colombian Coke-A-Toot.” We recognized it immediately by the size of its beak, its deviated septum, and of course, its unmistakable mating call...”
“Toot! Toot!” chirped The Kid.
“It was delicious... Under glass....”
The Kid glanced across his instrument panel, then back out through the windshield. The sky was starting to lighten up, approaching dawn. Last night, they’d been going west, into the setting sun. Now they were returning, heading east, into the rising sun.
That sounded like a good excuse to get high.
“More drugs.” announced The Kid.”
“More drugs?” said The Ace.
“More drugs,” The Kid declared.
The Ace reached into the flight bag between their seats, pulled out a plastic baggie of marijuana containing enough fine, dusty powder to roll maybe one skinny little joint that wouldn't burn right.
“All gone.” said The Ace, holding the baggie out.
“Well!” huffed The Kid, frowning, “This is another fine mess you got us into!”
The Ace drew his face out like Stan Laurel, fingered the top of his head.
“Why don't I get some more?” The Ace suggested, playing with an imaginary tie.
Sliding out of the co-pilot's seat The Ace lurched through the passage from the cockpit into the cargo compartment of the Flying Joint, loaded with burlap sacks.
The Ace tore a sack open, reached inside, broke a chunk off a 50 pound bale of marijuana, then lurched back into the cockpit, opened the Flying Joint’s log book in his lap, began to clean the pot: picking out the stems, stripping them between his fingers, crushing the buds, rolling out all the little seeds.
The Kid kept glancing over.
The Ace took out a pack of cigarette papers, pealed off five. One by one he folded the bottom half, then took out his Swiss Army knife, unfolded the tiny scissors, started snipping off the ungummed corner of each paper.
“Would you just roll a joint!” The Kid erupted.
“What?”
“Why can't you roll joints like normal people? No! You gotta be Picasso! We’re just gonna burn the motherfucker!”
The Ace motioned for silence. “Look...” he explained, “as long as I'm part of the drug culture, I’m gonna have a little drug culture.”
“If you want cut corners, why don't you buy the papers with the corners cut?”
“At least my joints don't look like beached whales,” snapped The Ace.
“I just wanna smoke a reefer,” said The Kid. “That's all. I just wanna get high. Is that too much to ask?”
- Sales Rank: #2451105 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-03-20
- Released on: 2012-03-20
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Fun flight of fact based fantasy.
By Jan
I enjoyed reading this. It moved quickly and kept my interest. I would recommend anyone would enjoy this book. Its a fun flight through South Florida truth/fantasy.
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